Cook Children's Clinician Outlines Strategy to Help Kids Overcome Phobias

A common parental instinct to immediately remove a child's source of fear may actually prolong the condition, according to a clinical psychologist at Cook Children’s Health Care System. Dr. Amanda L. Moen argues that while fear is a normal developmental stage, it becomes a phobia when the body’s alert response is out of proportion to the actual danger. In such cases, removing the threat or offering excessive reassurance can unintentionally reinforce the child’s anxiety.

The clinical approach relies on gradual exposure, a process where children confront their fears in small, manageable steps. Dr. Moen describes this method as delivering a small dose of distress to the child. The goal is to allow the child to face the situation while receiving encouragement, rather than shielding them from the experience entirely. This technique requires parents to validate the child’s feelings while simultaneously encouraging them to engage with the object of their fear.

Joseph Jones, an 8-year-old from Fort Worth, experienced a severe phobia of insects that disrupted his daily life. His mother, Laura Jones, described his reactions as loud and intense, involving screaming, crying, and running away. The fear prevented Joseph from playing outside, walking through his own yard, or entering certain rooms in their home alone. He remained hyperaware of his surroundings, constantly scanning for bugs.

The family sought professional help at Cook Children’s, where Dr. Moen worked with Joseph and Laura Jones to implement a structured plan. Laura learned to acknowledge Joseph’s fear without immediately eliminating the insect. Instead of rescuing him, she encouraged him to face the bug. Within the first month of this treatment, Joseph showed marked improvement. He now encounters insects without the previous intense reactions, often asking his mother to retrieve a bug from a trash can while maintaining his composure.

Dr. Moen recommends that parents begin with less intimidating stimuli before moving to direct exposure. For a child afraid of spiders, this progression might start with looking at pictures, then reading books or watching videos. The next step involves observing a spider from a safe distance, followed by moving closer as the child becomes more comfortable. Throughout this process, parents are advised to use supportive language, such as telling the child they are brave and that their feelings are valid.

Laura Jones noted that changing her own reactions was a critical part of the process. She shifted from removing bugs to encouraging Joseph to get close to them, telling him, "Hey, you’re brave and you can do this!" She stated that this specific phrase had a lasting positive impact on her son’s confidence.

As Halloween approaches, Dr. Moen advises parents to prepare children who may be frightened by costumes or seasonal decorations. She recommends starting with pictures or other low-intensity experiences to build confidence before introducing more complex stimuli. If a child’s fear prevents them from enjoying typical activities like trick-or-treating, Dr. Moen suggests seeking professional help to prevent the anxiety from becoming entrenched.

Laura Jones credited early intervention with improving Joseph’s everyday life. She said the process gave her a new sense of confidence as a mother. "It feels like I have done something right as a mom," she said. "Now I feel like, 'Guess what? We did that, dude. We did it together, and we are OK now.'"

Cook Children’s Health Care System is a healthcare provider based in Fort Worth, Texas. Dr. Moen is a licensed psychologist within that organization. The clinic encourages parents to monitor their children’s reactions to environmental threats and to seek guidance if those reactions interfere with normal development.